She's the first one i think of when i feel really awful - because i know she will listen, understand how i feel and talk sense into me to make me feel better.
She's the first one i think of when i'm having fun - because i know a hearty laugh will follow after i tell her all about it.
She's my happy pill.
Shups, yup! Dat's U!
Oi, don be pressurised or "feel helpless" after seeing this post hor. i DO NOT "expect ALOT from this relationship". ;) hahahaha! (Shups will get it)
Thanks for calling up straight after u received my message last night, even though u were feeling down yourself. Somehow whenever i hear your voice, no matter how down and low i feel, i always lighten up and smile. Never fails. I feel like recording ur voice and blasting the earphones in my head so i an wear a smile where ever i go.
.
.
.
.
But last night after i went offline, there was still a huge boulder on my chest. I lied on my bed at 1.30am. Images and voices started to appear in my head. I just lied there and stared at the ceiling and then stared at Piggy.
I kept having flashbacks of what happened during table tennis leh. "why am i so affected by it huh? i dunnoe. i really dunnoe. it's really no big deal wad! could it be simply because i'm too petty? If i were in their shoes, how would i have felt or handle it? tolong, i better stop being so shallow lor. i already said i'm ok, and i meant what i said, so i shud stop harping over it! if i keep holding on to such things how the hell can i fully support the team lydat?..." etc etc
Then when i ask these questions about my attitude, another set of questions will automatically appear. "Why can't they just tell me arh? why couldn't he just TELL me? why couldn't she JUST TELL me? this kind of things need to paiseh wan meh? i'm fully aware of the reasons. i'm no good means i'm no good lor. and what do u take me for now? really, wad do u take me for now? sooner or later i will have to find out, why not just be straight to the point?! i really could have taken it well. why do they have make the situation so awkward for themselves, and in the end make ME awkward when i needn't feel that way?"
I donnoe what the hell is wrong with me. So i just thought and thought and thought about these over and over.. until about a quarter past 2, i thought, Cry. Must make myself cry. So i sat up, got ready my tissue box and tried.
After sitting there for what felt like 30mins, i couldn't do it! Seems like everytime i force myself to think of something unhappy so the tears can flow, 1 or 2 happy images will counter the unhappy stuff! Man, am i mixed up or am i mixed up!?
In the end, i donnoe how i fell asleep. i totally forgot. next moment i opened my eyes (it was already bright) i thot, "EH!? how come alarm clock haven't ring!?".... then rmbed it was wednesday... tried to go back to sleep but the questions are bbbaaaaaaaaaaaaacckk~... Bloody hell. Won't let me off lor. So yup, i'm up since 7.30am and i'm still feeling fresh.
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I wanna hammer myself liao! SHUPS! Bring a hammer for me on thursday. Hammer me while we're running round the track. Knock some sense into my head.
-9.33am-
Went thru all my photo albums in the com. Now, I really feel better.
-10.34am-
