Thank U

Today i was feeling really really sad... So bad was the situation that I would stare into the notes and not know what was staring back at me. It felt like I stayed home and studied for too long, but it also felt like I didn't study enough.

Mixed feelings and therefore mixed up mind.

In short things just felt terrible.

I had delibrately left my phone off til afternoon because I knew messaging him would make myself unhappier. His replies these couple of days were getting slower and brisker. Though i'm aware that it's hectic really in his workshop, i just can't help feeling this way:( And not to mention through out the day we only messaged each other five times and that spanned from 12.30 to 8 in the evening... the longest I waited for a reply was 50mins. So I decided to switch the phone, else imagine the distraction.. i'd keep looking at th screen for a message-received symbol...

On thursday, my mum broke down infront of me. My heart really broke when I heard all the unhappiness she had been keeping inside herself. That session made me look at my dad in a different light, maybe even planted a bitter seed in my heart; made me think more carefully of what I say and how I speak to her in future; made me see how deeply a wife can be hurt by a husband... Things won't turn 180 degrees around at once but I'll be sure to keep this event at the back of my mind. In the evening I mentioned something in my msg to Spm that made him call me... and it was my turn to break down as I thot back on the things she said that afternoon. He talked to me while trying to fix a circuit board. But nevertheless succeeded in lightening the mood:)

Now I can't look at my Dad without thinking of that afternoon. When I do look at him without turning away, what I see I don't recognise... although mommy said things are alright already, the hurt is done. In case you havent heard, a woman's trait is: Forgive but NEVER forget. (it'd be silly to think if he committed the A word. coz my mom wouldn't even be staying around for a second should dat ever happen)

This afternoon, my laptop gave me all sorts of problems... apparently my thumbdrive is screwed, my laptop's "virtual memory" is running out and it can't detect the printer...

The only accomplishment today was that I've finally completely read thru my B.law lecture notes.

I was yearning badly for chocolates or anything sweet to munch on.

Then at around 7pm, i heard the ringtone of Tokyo drift going off in my room.. ahhh:) must be Kailin or SHuping calling la... however, it was a strange request. Strange in the way of what they wanted me to bring down for them. Unsuspectingly, I got what they wanted and rushed out.

It was like DE JAVU. (shups, rmb tuesday when we left FC4 and I saw somebody's receipt with MY NAME on it?)

This was the surprise they laid down for me at my corridor!!!











I was stopped in my tracks thinking, "Aiyo, why the neighbour's children play masak masak until over here and never keep... Ayyy... why they leave something here for me? so cute ar-"

Then it hit me.

Good job on that "ren wu" u made me do ar shups;)

Before the call, I was seated at the desktop in full view of the corridor, half drowning in self- generated dejection, munching on chocolate i bought one week ago. Waiting for the ecstasy of dark chocolate to kick in, waiting for the bloody printer to hurry up and complete the 5 page print job it had been struggling with for the past 10 mins.. *It's really intriguing how shups managed to Ninja her way to my door without me noticing her figure lumbering towards. Ahahahahahaha! just Joking gal. XP. Really laughed when she told me how she laid down the "door gifts"












Thankfully I can now keep that box of chocs away and enjoy something sweeter:)











ARE WE CONNECTED BY SIXTH SENSE COZ THESE ARE EXACTLY WHAT I WANT!!!!!!












SEEEEE.... It's from KAILIN AND SHUPS WITH LOVE











Okay, now a glimspe of what shups asked me to bring down for kailin... chiong all over my cupboards for this ok.


the title of this post is dedicated to U girls:) thanx for turning things around for me:) thanx for cheering me up even though u weren't aware of the intensity of sadness i was experiencing. and the best thing is, all it took was ONE simple sms to you two. Saying hey i miss you, and everyone, and how it sucks to not be attending school etc.... :') sooooo grateful to have u as friends. shups and kailin, the two of u really makes me feel loved every day of the week!

And apparent everything took a turn for the better after this. guess what my dinner was. ok la, don need to guess. I tell u. It was Chilli Crab - the best i tasted, claypot Tofu - best i tasted too, and sweet potatoes leaves - not the best. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. And This meal was cheeeeeeeeeap lor! $50 with change to spare =D Next time bring U gals here arh!

And Spm finally replied. His hands were covered with oil thats why took nearly 1 hour to reply. And tonight, he has to stay over in school to chiong the machines to be sent over to Indonesia. FOS-FYP. I called him immediately after i saw his msg and chatted for a short while. Now he's still there doing his work:( But at least they're having some fun there, i suppose? haha cause when i called, there seem to be background music, likely a party going on. LOL.

What a crazy day for me. And shake my hand please. I just screwed my self-imposed ban to use the internet.. could have been one week, had I made it past today.

*shrugs*

off to enjoy Grandeur Italian Original and ma Munchies:)

Competition is what forms the team. But it isn't necessarily what brings the team together.



I can see myself screaming in my head, "EVERYONE STOP FEELING SAD!"

I got a lot to say to you Cindy. Heheh.

First things first... Please don feel so negative about yourself. everyone keeps saying and agreeing that you (and anyone for that matter) have done all you can. but these words will never mean anything unless YOU believe it. I may not have the passion and drive as you YET. but what you done and have gone through is inspiring la.

The post wasn't aimed at anyone on our team... It was the outcome of what I heard coach said last friday - made me dio sort for while, thats why I was so critical in my previous post... sorry for the offensiveness.

And please don say that it doesn't matter already/ anymore. It still does! EVERYTHING STILL MATTERS. It stills matters even if we didn't win a medal, it still matters after you've graduated, it stills matters TEN years from now.


Shups and Kailin...



Alot has happened thru'out the 4 days that I didn't blog man.

All of a sudden, people are just rushing to be the first to leave the table tennis team :'(

WAOH. (you guys get the rough idea of wat my waoh means la, hor?)

Those that are graduating, are graduating... Those in Year 2, are eager to quit... Those in Year 1 are left hanging there unsure whether to stay or go with the crowd. Very sad hor? Shups... why become like dat... ... ... It's almost like, we didn't get a medal, lets all quit la!


I don't care if I take my own hand to slap my mouth le... I gotta admit this.

After playing with Huiling in our IVP finale doubles against NTU, I really felt I gained experience leh! HAHAHAHAHAHA! :P I mean, it felt good. I HAD FUN! Even tho we didn't win by 0-3 (don like to use "lose" la).

I just enjoyed the last game :) If only playing in tournaments feels like this all the time for every one of us.

Especially when I went to watch them play against NYP on thursday. HAHA! During the last round, we suan our opponents suan until so shiok lor! Wa seh... team spirit really fa hui chu lai at our bench! LOL. It was simply hilarious, to me, the way we cheered for huiling (aka porky).


Anyway... at the end of day, i really really hope that whether or not we are staying or leaving, it doesn't mean tat our friendship will end or be affected. i hope that the impact that we've made on each other's lives is big enough for us to hold on together with SPTT's name behind us all the way =D





I'M PROUD TO BE IN SPTT.

Got alot of things to blog about man!

Lets start with the serious stuff first, no crapping one ar..

("lets be serious. seriously, do you like me?" LOL)

This is one busy week. How come last week of school always lydat? First of all, there's tabel tennis tournament from tuesday to friday... but oh well, i've broken free from it for today and tomorrow.

Seriously (lol), what sort of mentality is this? Just because we're playing against a very formidable team like NUS and NTU, does that mean we should put the reserves in to play?

Supposedly, to allow reserves to play for a match is a very nice thing. Let them contribute abit. Too bad, SPTT's rationale for putting reserves in is WARPED. Their thinking is:

OK Since we're losing this match anyhow, why don't we
just let the reserves play, let them have a taste of whats it
like to be at the competiting table?

HAH! Farni.

PLeeeeaseee laaaaaar, save it. Alot of things I may not understand yet, but I do know what is the correct thinking, and what is the wrong thinking. Anyway, this is what I feel about it. And it sucks.

Yesterday the coach didn't even turn up for the match against NUS. WTF is this? But like I said, there's no such thing as "regret" for this kind of things. You can't say, "Aiyo, I think so-and-so could have beaten that player.. shudn't have put in a reserve" - once you've made a decision, you just have to live with whatever that follows consequence lor.

I have nothing against my team mates for these ok. This I must clarify. It's not their fault fo adopting this "strategy". But we gotta change our mentality. I'm just afraid. That any of my remaining liking for this sport might dwindle to naught.










ALROIGHT! Cheerful stuff now:)

Thanks for your nalgene bottle kailin!!!

Awwwww maaan! That surprise really really really made my day! So sweet of you to get us our lucky colours as prescribed by master khor:) And the suspense was great. Haha!

I not bad hor? Anyhow whack also know mine and shup's are the same thing, only in different colours and without knowing what it was, I guessed mine was blue liao! Lol.. hey i'm also quite smart leh... Don keep praising that one person only can?

Yea:) So Kailin only let us open our packages at Dover Station.... WKaoz, i never enjoyed unwrapping a present to that extent lor. Thanks for taking the effort and spending the time to wrap and roll the bottle with layeeeerrrs and layeeeerrrs of newspaper and fat scotch tapes!

Then while making a din all the way down the escalator and coming to the bus stop's rubbish bin... a looong hand reached out to Kailin... WA! PANTY ORANG UTAN ON THE LOOSE!

AAAaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!! *Nice to finally meet U :)*

That's not end of our laughter for the day...

During lunch period, shups and I saw Kailin and she sat with us at our table. Then we went to the toilet together...

Kailin stepped in, took one look at herself in the mirror, screamed and waved her arms and ran away! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

She said a fly was buzzing infront of her eyes, BUT from my point of view, it looked like she was horrfied of her own reflection and CHUA DIO because of that!

We burst out laughing in the toilet with other girls around. Kailin went out to laugh because she was too paiseh, then shups and I saw a girl at the basin um-chioing la.... damn farni coz we kept replaying the scene for kailin (and other pple) to laugh.


Step 1: Walk to the mirror
Step 2: Take a look
Step 3: Scream and flap your bye bye arms
Step 4: Run outside to laugh yor head off


Hahahahaha... U so made my day la. To the extent I couldn't bear to leave U guys at 3.30 :P


It's OK! I'm seeing U gals tonight~ # THE PUBLIC BEWARE# Heheheheh.

K, I got loadsa stuff to do:

1. Photography portfolio - select and develop photographs for by today!
2. Attempt the maths games question.
3. Transfer saved messages from old phone to new phone.
4. Filing of worksheets.
5. Call Uncle raymond about Bangkok.
6. Biggest challenge: complete everything by 3.30.
7. Shower and wear clothes by 4.10.

Hahaha X_X

SPM, I wish you all the best for your matches... Must Swwwhhheeack more today ar! Hahah, MUACK!

This is the final monday of the semester.

whatever la. LOL!

it's been a looong looong while since the three of us have took the train together! And surprise surprise~ we still have the touch of making a din and causing other people to um chio!

Slapper, don worry le. Now U have ME to give U mornin call (But set your ringtone to the max and leave your phone further away from you!)


Kailin's not the only one who has this priviledge lor ;) Heheheee....


and kailin, remember what we said today ar... no more salt OK???


Hmm, nowadays I've lesser and lesser motivation to study :P Still remember when I was newly admitted in Year 1, I was very excited about going to school EVERYDAY man! To the point I would SPRING up from bed when the alarm sounded. @_@

Firstly, because there were modules like EC, CD, CRS etc. Secondly, I just found my clique and some classmates very fun la. yea... so it's just a little saddening that things are in this state now...

BUT

At least I still have my FC destroyers la ...ROIGHT??





Oh YA! Today I heard the love story of Siow Chee Wee... He's the second lecturer who married his first love leh.

*Everybody say* AAAWWWWWWWW...

The first lecturer who married HER first love was Mrs CSC Loh, our PTN from last year (actually ar, up til now I still donnoe wad PTN stands for lor.. someone pls clarify for me? haha!).

K, so about Mr Siow, the one who di siao me on my computer terminal...

Yup, he knew his wife at 16 years of age, but didn't paktor until he was in NS... blah blah blah... I'm leaving out the details because I wanna bring the focus to what he said about his wife:

She is the best person that EVER happened to me in my life, there
was no one as kind as, no one as patient as and as caring as her... Ya, she really is just the best person that happened to me la.

WAY TO GO MR SIOW! I applaude your courage to say this to us (me and shups)! I think it takes balls to first admit it, and then to actually say it to your students is even more *Wow* =)

And here's my response to shup's "wad is love" post. Love is reading that bulletin on friendster and thinking of that certain guy lor. HA HA HA HA!

*AHEM!*

Okay! Now gotta go practise QM again le. If you believe me. HAhahaha!

Panty Kiapper signing off

Thanks:)

First and foremost, I wanna thank Kailin and winnie for staying up until about 3am to help this kuku friend of theirs with the Freaking QM software...

Thanks very very very very very very very much!

I'm guessing winnie stayed up much later coz when i opened my inbox this morning she had sent me another file...

But sad to say, nothing worked despite their ku xin... Kailin, also xin ku ni le... pms-ing still stay up to help me... Sorry and thanks arh... hope u get over pms-ing real soon k?

In the end, it was the Man from Krypton who saved the day. Ahahahaha! My Superman la... He just sent my a file I was missing, told me where to paste it and Voila! QM was running already...

I told Mom about it.

She said with a chuckle, "how come my daughter so stupid?"

BecauseI told her he helped me solve the problem in less than 30 mins (when us girls struggled to achieve nothing in the end for more than 3 hours)

I rebutted, "Eeeehhh... That (computers) is Nan Ren de Tian Xia Lor..."

So Yeah, thats the end of my ordeal for this weekend la :)

Haven't updated for a week le...

Would like to say I'm very touched to have friends like Kailin and Shups.

On Friday, once i sent out an sms to them about how effective my lucky colours were that day, they immediately called up and ask about me le.. but i guess they also didn't know how to response to that sms, so they called.. Hehehe. MTV partner ;)

But the best thing I rmb about friday was the time spent at FC5! We kept laughing and laughing and laughing.

It felt like the equivalent to me of having done 50 sit ups in 1 minute after every round of laughter. Hehehehehehehe.

I forgot what we did to make Kailin laugh so hard la. Roughly was about dance moves and dance "accidents"...

The thing is, we kept talking about the same topic and Kailin kept laughing long and hard, in the end I also ended up laughing long and hard at the sound of her laugh (until i nearly wet my pants man)

Table banging, feet stamping, arms flapping all the way til we're nearly infamous in FC5 le...

note to self: 3 FCs down, 3 more to go.

And ya, i told and showed many of my table tennis friends about the video le. Especially the girls team =D Wahahah! Shups, u don wanna be famous also diff liao ~

Not a dull moment, never a sad feeling - U girls can do a 180 on an awfully unbearable day and make me H-A-P-P-Y!

My Fo Jing

This is my Fo Jing, told to me by a Buddha-of-a-friend. (that night got yellow holy light shining out of my handphone)

Here goes:

Everyone is made out to be weak in something and strong in another.

You can't strong at everything and you also won't be weak in everything.

Focus on what you are strong at. This will give you more confidence and allow you to play better.

There is a difference between saying:

"Winning and losing doesn't matter to me - i don't care if i win or lose" which is negative and;

"Winning and losing doesn't matter - so long as I have done my best, therefore the statement" which is positive.

If you keep telling yourself, "winning doesn't mean anything to me", then when you lose u will still feel the guilt because you know you haven't put in any effort to make the best out of the game.

And if you lose because of this, you will always use this excuse that, 'Oh, it's because i don't like competition what, so lose also never mind lor...'

If you tell yourself to focus on what you are strong at and make the best out of it, then even when you lose, you can proudly tell yourself that you have "given my best and I have no regrets at all" (William Hung, 2004)




Bottomline is: if the coach puts you in a game, you just play it and play it well. If you play it well, other people can see. (And that makes "losing" a little easier to swallow. Hahaha)



I want to buy flourescent paint and paint these words onto my ceiling.. so when i turn out the lights, these words will shine down on me and enlighten me all over again everynight. =)

Thanks Kailin and shuping for the long long talk. 0307. This is the time when we hung up. 0307. This is the duration of our conversation. This may be a coincidence. Haha. But our friendship is definitely not a coincidence~!

OKay now for what happened today! Waaaaaa.... I was a road victim for the first day of school!!! It all happaned in the morning... I received a call from a friend.

"Hey! My dad can fetch us to school leh! U want a ride?"

Ok... so i accepted the kind offer and went downstairs to meet this friend. As I rushed into the car, i didn't realise something. MY FRIEND WAS IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT!!! SHEEEEEEEYTTTE!!! And becoz the father was also in the car, I didn't dare to get off liao...

Okay alot of farni things happened on the way out of carpark and on the way to school la. TOok FIVE minutes to get out of my F - shaped carpark! I'm amazed I didn't throw up on the way out...

once we reached the bus stop at dover, this friend asked me, "So, what do you think of my driving?"

I JI TOU BURST OUT LAUGHING LARRR!

Maaan.. i woke up bright and early for school.. i didn't want to be late for first day leh... wanted a clean record this final few weeks... ok ok, at least for this week la... then thanks to this friend! washed down the drain liao! Hey, I really appreciate you giving me a ride la. BUT NOT ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL AND IN THE MORNING PEAK HOUR AND WITHOUT ANY WARNING MAN! AHAHAHAHAHAHA =D Please tell me in advance next time (so i can reject your offer). Thanks for sending me to school safely today.

I have never been soooo happy to reach school before.

curse myself

today while rushing out of the house to go to school, i was rude to mommy. that's the second time it happened this week.

may i be knocked down by a car if that happens again.

den after training i rushed back home too. don't why i got the urge to go home straight away. on my own. (like the kit chan rice commercial hor?)

hmm kailin... listening to u talk on the phone now, suffering from tummy ache, i'm serious about me having nightmares every night since last week leh...

ah si, staring at ur msn window now... dunnnoe wad to say... really got alot of things on my mind but shuo bu chu kou.

shuping... u are at chalet now. I got even more things to tell u... u gotta take over my post as listener man... really need u to talk to you leh... these few days i keep on wanting to go running, cycling, walking out at night etc. u noe why hor?

now still waiting for tummy ache to subside. den sleep liao... actually now half asleep liao lar. but kailin's topics very very very interesting. confusing. but interesting.





WAHAHAHA!

first post of 2007

Wow I nearly forgot my sign-in name for blogger... 8 days didn't visit my blog lykdat liao...

Had a chat with tiffo aka horny last night. Hahaha found out how fantastic italy's postal service can get. I sent her a card on the 22 or 23 dec la... definitely CMI before christmas but i thought at least can make it before 2007. key word: i thought. HAhahaha! okays... there's a high chance it won't reach her address in italy until after she returns there from her one week visit to S'pore.

since christmas... hmmm... i forgot wad i have done already... most outstanding memory of last week was the camping out with superman at sembawang park on friday night. Kinda rushed back from Malaysia so as to camp out with him. Didn't have time to prepare for anything to do there except I brought my laptop out and we watched The Host in the tent. LOL! It's so lame la, thinking back... coz camping is supposed to be more in touch with nature, but in the end technology tagged along to keep us entertaining for a couple of hours.

We were paranoid of the mosquitoes by then - armed with a brand new can of insect repellant spray, mozzie coils and 2 bottles of ointment! It sorta effectively kept the mozzies away for miles. the tent was even positioned in a way that it caught the wind in the backdoor and the mozzie coil was placed upwind so that the "smoke" would drift and flush the tent with it Anti-mozzie smell.

The night passed a little too quickly although we fell asleep at 4am and woke around 9am... hmm, next time no more laptops!

Then there was countdown with superman. Sorta last minute "countdown" la.. Haha was supposed to go to Popo house for family gathering but seemed that everybody had their own plans and nobody was free to turn up that night. So met with Spm at around 5pm. HEhehe. Where did we go? Not vivo, not esplanade, not mount faber but Fort Canning Park! Coz I had the impression that my dad told me before that fireworks could be seen there... that evening we became tourist of our country man! Really had no idea how to get the Fort Canning we alighted at Dhoby Gaut Station and slowly (really slowly) found our way to the place... Visited the History Museum too! Hahahaha... like real tourists lor =D Main point is we really got to see fireworks from Fort Canning Park leh!

Next fondest memory was the team dinner on Monday (New Year's Day) at Joo Chiat No.11 #01-03 Chilli Padi Nonya Restaurant =) I still roughly rmb what we ordered... 3 glasses of water chestnut, tied with 3 glasses of lime juice, 1 bottle of honey lemon (cursed), 1 can of coke (outstanding) the rest can't rmb liao... For food there was Ayam Sio (not leng), Mutton Rendang, Sweet potato leaves, Curry Fish Head, Sambal Sotong, Nonya Chap Chye, Seafood fried rice, Duno wad fried rice (black black one), Fu Yong Egg (if i got the name right)... dats about it.

As you can see, with the TT team, live is more enjoyable... Big fish Big meat (da yu da rou)... After that went to Marine Parade for about an hour pool... I enjoyed it very much. I mean I enjoyed the movie they were showing - Alien VS Predator. AHAHAHAHAHA!

Now just waiting for the impending doom to befall on me... got so much i need to do for school... but i still keep them at the back of my mind.

What do they mean by resolutions and mugging? not in my dictionary wan leh...