Mixed feelings and therefore mixed up mind.
In short things just felt terrible.
I had delibrately left my phone off til afternoon because I knew messaging him would make myself unhappier. His replies these couple of days were getting slower and brisker. Though i'm aware that it's hectic really in his workshop, i just can't help feeling this way:( And not to mention through out the day we only messaged each other five times and that spanned from 12.30 to 8 in the evening... the longest I waited for a reply was 50mins. So I decided to switch the phone, else imagine the distraction.. i'd keep looking at th screen for a message-received symbol...
On thursday, my mum broke down infront of me. My heart really broke when I heard all the unhappiness she had been keeping inside herself. That session made me look at my dad in a different light, maybe even planted a bitter seed in my heart; made me think more carefully of what I say and how I speak to her in future; made me see how deeply a wife can be hurt by a husband... Things won't turn 180 degrees around at once but I'll be sure to keep this event at the back of my mind. In the evening I mentioned something in my msg to Spm that made him call me... and it was my turn to break down as I thot back on the things she said that afternoon. He talked to me while trying to fix a circuit board. But nevertheless succeeded in lightening the mood:)
Now I can't look at my Dad without thinking of that afternoon. When I do look at him without turning away, what I see I don't recognise... although mommy said things are alright already, the hurt is done. In case you havent heard, a woman's trait is: Forgive but NEVER forget. (it'd be silly to think if he committed the A word. coz my mom wouldn't even be staying around for a second should dat ever happen)
This afternoon, my laptop gave me all sorts of problems... apparently my thumbdrive is screwed, my laptop's "virtual memory" is running out and it can't detect the printer...
The only accomplishment today was that I've finally completely read thru my B.law lecture notes.
I was yearning badly for chocolates or anything sweet to munch on.
Then at around 7pm, i heard the ringtone of Tokyo drift going off in my room.. ahhh:) must be Kailin or SHuping calling la... however, it was a strange request. Strange in the way of what they wanted me to bring down for them. Unsuspectingly, I got what they wanted and rushed out.
It was like DE JAVU. (shups, rmb tuesday when we left FC4 and I saw somebody's receipt with MY NAME on it?)
This was the surprise they laid down for me at my corridor!!!
I was stopped in my tracks thinking, "Aiyo, why the neighbour's children play masak masak until over here and never keep... Ayyy... why they leave something here for me? so cute ar-"
Then it hit me.
Good job on that "ren wu" u made me do ar shups;)
Before the call, I was seated at the desktop in full view of the corridor, half drowning in self- generated dejection, munching on chocolate i bought one week ago. Waiting for the ecstasy of dark chocolate to kick in, waiting for the bloody printer to hurry up and complete the 5 page print job it had been struggling with for the past 10 mins.. *It's really intriguing how shups managed to Ninja her way to my door without me noticing her figure lumbering towards. Ahahahahahaha! just Joking gal. XP. Really laughed when she told me how she laid down the "door gifts"
Thankfully I can now keep that box of chocs away and enjoy something sweeter:)
ARE WE CONNECTED BY SIXTH SENSE COZ THESE ARE EXACTLY WHAT I WANT!!!!!!
SEEEEE.... It's from KAILIN AND SHUPS WITH LOVE
Okay, now a glimspe of what shups asked me to bring down for kailin... chiong all over my cupboards for this ok.
the title of this post is dedicated to U girls:) thanx for turning things around for me:) thanx for cheering me up even though u weren't aware of the intensity of sadness i was experiencing. and the best thing is, all it took was ONE simple sms to you two. Saying hey i miss you, and everyone, and how it sucks to not be attending school etc.... :') sooooo grateful to have u as friends. shups and kailin, the two of u really makes me feel loved every day of the week!
And apparent everything took a turn for the better after this. guess what my dinner was. ok la, don need to guess. I tell u. It was Chilli Crab - the best i tasted, claypot Tofu - best i tasted too, and sweet potatoes leaves - not the best. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. And This meal was cheeeeeeeeeap lor! $50 with change to spare =D Next time bring U gals here arh!
And Spm finally replied. His hands were covered with oil thats why took nearly 1 hour to reply. And tonight, he has to stay over in school to chiong the machines to be sent over to Indonesia. FOS-FYP. I called him immediately after i saw his msg and chatted for a short while. Now he's still there doing his work:( But at least they're having some fun there, i suppose? haha cause when i called, there seem to be background music, likely a party going on. LOL.
What a crazy day for me. And shake my hand please. I just screwed my self-imposed ban to use the internet.. could have been one week, had I made it past today.
*shrugs*
off to enjoy Grandeur Italian Original and ma Munchies:)
